EMDR and My Healing Journey
I had been in therapy in the past and always found it helpful. I had learned more about mindfulness and just allowing myself to let my thoughts and worries drift away. I learned more about myself and what activates my system. I had found some growth and healing in positive ways.
What I hadn’t found, though, was the ability to separate hard memories from a visceral reaction in my body when I was triggered. I hadn’t found a way to recognize before my lid flipped that I was triggered. I knew I needed something else, and that’s when I heard about EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I had just started with a new therapist as COVID-19 did me dirty emotionally, so I asked her what her experience with EMDR was. The stars aligned, and she told me she was looking into getting trained in EMDR, and once she was trained, she would love for me to be one of her first clients. To say I was excited was an understatement.Fast forward to 4 years later, and the experiences during EMDR have been so healing and unbelievable. I was able to process an abusive situation by a co-worker at a church I worked at, which brought me to instant panic each time I stepped foot in the church. I found myself separating the situation and abuser from my feelings and was able to not only go into that church once again with no activated response in my nervous system but also, I was able to see the abuser there and was empowered to not allow that person to take control of my emotions. I was stronger because of EMDR, and it was so healing.
I was also able to process pre-verbal trauma and visualize my childhood, the cars we drove, the houses we lived in, and the people we knew without any conscious memory of my childhood. When I asked my mom if we ever had a green four-door car, as this was something I “saw” during one of my sessions, she confirmed we had. I never knew this consciously, but it was stored in my brain and memories. I was able to work through some big feelings surrounding a lot of trauma that took place from in utero through my early toddler years. I get to hold “little Missy” in my arms and care for her in a way that never knew she needed. It has been so healing.
These are just two of the many “stuck memories” that I have worked through with EMDR. Currently, we are using EMDR to process some of the medical struggles I am facing right now. I have discovered that I may have been dealing with a lot of my medical struggles for almost my whole life. This has allowed me the strength to find my focus and advocate for myself with the doctors and professionals who have unknowingly made me feel dismissed. This has been so healing.
I knew within a few months of doing EMDR that this was a modality I wanted to be trained in myself. In September 2024, I completed the training and am now able to offer EMDR to those who are seeking healing in their lives. EMDR was life-changing for me, and I look forward to being able to provide life-changing healing for others as well!
If you are interested in EMDR and want to learn more, check out this episode where I interview an EMDR therapist, and she breaks down for us what it is and how it works. As always, reach out to me if you have specific questions! I am always here to help!